The Cosmic Rambler

Imagine, you’re waiting in a long queue at a bank, waiting for your turn to pay a bill. An elderly woman, in her late 50s, seems a bit troubled and walks up to you. She asks you which counter she has to pay her bill at. You look at her bill. It’s the same utility bill that is paid on the counter of the queue you’re standing in. You gaze over at the ‘amount before due date’ section. It’s a meager amount. You look behind yourself. It’s a long line and it will take the woman roughly another 2 hours to be able to pay her bill. Out of compassion, you offer to pay her bill by yourself. She offers you the money and you reluctantly take it. After you’ve paid the bill, you hand over the stamped paper and the change to her. She squints her old eyes at the bill. Her expression changes from scrutiny to grateful and gives you an approving nod. You walk out of the bank, and for some reason, you wonder why you helped the old woman? Maybe it seemed the right thing to do. But then, you could’ve helped the elderly man standing 10 feet behind you too. You realize you’ve grown to like the old woman. It was her troubled expressions that made you help her. But the real reason remains elusive. And we’ll figure out the actual reason, together. And by the end, I hope it shall become clear to you as to why you helped that woman.

Have you ever thought about the relation between your actions and thoughts? Let’s think together: Our actions are an obtrusion of our thoughts. We do what we think is right and leave what seems incorrect, immoral, or unethical. The logic that went in the previous sentences is completely coherent by the axioms of common sense; thought before action. Turns out, that’s totally not how our thought processes work!

We are not beings of thought but rather creatures of action. Any action that we do, leaves a footstep in our mind. These footsteps are imprinted in our neural network. Any action against our self-held principles will brew a disquietude. The brain cannot handle dichotomies between our ideologies and our actions. Therefore, the brain literally changes our perception to be at ease with the disjunction. This is known as “Cognitive Dissonance”.

Benjamin Franklin, an American polymath and one of the Founding Fathers of the United States, was the first person, at least historically, to point out this counter-intuitive behavior of the human brain. He stated in his autobiography, mentioning an old rival whose friendship would prove valuable to him in the future: 

“He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.”

The Benjamin-Franklin effect is a shining example of cognitive dissonance in play; the greater the gap between the act of performing the favor and the way a person feels toward the person they’re helping, the more likely that person is to experience the Benjamin Franklin effect (Effectiviology, 2020).

I read about this concept not too long ago. But pondering over my actions led me to the recollection of how it affected me and people I knew, subconsciously. Whether it was me asking the chef at a local Burger Shop for extra sauce, or it was me being asked to help an elderly woman cross the road. The person who helped, in both cases, started to like the helped person more; the chef became my friend, and I developed sympathy for the old woman.
Therefore, it has led me to reasonably believe that the Ben-Franklin effect does work, even when both involved parties fail to notice it.

So, how do you win favors in a social setting?
The counter-intuitive genius of the Ben-Franklin effect can be applied in almost every social dealing. The sales industry can teach their employees how to use the effect to turn the tide of closing in their favor. For example, an employee can ask a potential client for a personal favor. This can be anything; ranging from doing a short survey to asking for a client’s perspective of the market and where it is headed. The client can feel empowered and develop a connection with the employee, thus, improving the chances of a successful closing.
In your immediate surroundings, if there’s a particular person who doesn’t like you very much, ask them for a small favor, such as asking them to lend you their book for a short time or to hold your bag while you tie your shoes. This will rewire their brain into thinking that since they did a favor for you, they must like you.
There are two caveats worth mentioning; the favor should be personal as impersonal favors tend to decrease the liking (Jecker, 1969), and asking someone for a big favor might end up with them refusing to do it. Resultantly, they might end up forming a negative opinion about you (Effectiviology, 2020).

The Reverse Benjamin Franklin Effect:

The reverse case also exists for Ben-Franklin Effect. Just as someone starts liking a person for whom they did a favor to, they can also start hating the people they hurt. We see this case in murderers, dehumanizing their victims as it puts them in psychological ease with the guilt. The same goes for soldiers in wartime atrocities; they start loathing the enemy to lessen the cognitive dissonance of killing.

Unfortunately, we, as humans, start resenting the very people we cause pain.

Author: Muhammad Rehmoz Ayub (Aerospace 17)